LUKE: How are you doin?
STEPHEN: Oh, not too bad, not too bad... it's a little chilly out, but it's okay.
LUKE: So your comics date back to '92, make you feel old?
STEPHEN: And how...
LUKE: So what are your strips if not mean spirited, violent both in and out of politics, and filled with detached, and senseless endi? (Little joke there with the cutoff 'endings' yeah; y'like that?)
STEPHEN: What are they if they're *not* all that stuff? Hmmm... are they anything? Mean-spirited, political and non-political violence, detached endi... that sounds about right.
LUKE: Favourite stirp(s) that is yours?
LUKE: Favourite strip(s) that's not?
STEPHEN: Er, I'm not sure what you mean, here. I guess Tom the Dancing Bug.
LUKE: What would you say are the worst aspects ever of anything?
STEPHEN: The needlessly painful or difficult aspects.
LUKE: How many webcomics do you read?
STEPHEN: Hardly any, to be honest. Penny Arcade, Get Your War On... that's about it.
LUKE: Are you a geek? If so what geeky activities do you participate in?
STEPHEN: Yes, I'm a geek. I play video games, watch sci-fi and Hong Kong movies, and occasionally Dr. Who. Oh, and sometimes I have sex. Is that geeky?
LUKE: You game?
STEPHEN: I doubt it. Is "game" some American lingo thing?
LUKE: I'm the brother of Tailsteak; author of webcomic: One Over Zero. Do you care?
STEPHEN: I'm afraid not.
LUKE: I feel your 2 most memorable strips from your archives are 'only four different kinds of kiwi' and that one where Bob blows up the earth. But they aren't amoung the chosen ones. Why? How could your opinions possibly differ from mine?
STEPHEN: Well, the one where Bob blows up the Earth is my favorite one, so you're only half off. And as for the difference of opinion, I can only attribute it to our entirely different histories, experiences and personalities.
LUKE: Your apostrophe bashing strip gets special placement, do you hate apostrophes that much?
STEPHEN: Frankly, yes. I worked as a proofreader for a while, so I've got pro chops in hating bad grammar and spelling.
LUKE: Angry? Flower?
STEPHEN: Yes, and yes.
LUKE: Why fanklub? Is it supposed to be, edgy or something?
STEPHEN: Yeah, "edgy", I guess... "whim", maybe, is another way of putting it.
LUKE: Culd yuo tel;l me a storry abott a faary tale?
STEPHEN: Um, no.
LUKE: Sorry, that last question came from my kid nephew who stole the keyboard?
STEPHEN: Oh is that right?
LUKE: Geezer old I'm talkin.
LUKE: Just how educated are you?
STEPHEN: Fairly educated. I have a Bachelor's degree in English (with Honours!), and I've, um, read some books.
LUKE: I have no nephew...
LUKE: or friends...
STEPHEN: Again, "?"
LUKE: So... do you have life goals and crap?
STEPHEN: I have life goals (to make a living, preferably doing comics or something similarly fun) and I also have crap, in my gut.
LUKE: żEs usted listo para las 3 questions?
STEPHEN: Je ne parle pas Francais.
LUKE: How's your relationship with your mother?
STEPHEN: She's dead, so we're not close.
LUKE: What's your favourite food that begins with C?
STEPHEN: Umm... chicken, I guess. Chicken cacciatore, if I wanna get fancy.
LUKE: If you were a member of the Greek Pantheon; what would you be the god of?
STEPHEN: Everything, I guess.
LUKE: You've got nothing else right?
STEPHEN: No, I'm pretty much empty.
LUKE: Thanks for the interview.
STEPHEN: Yer welcome.