I went to a large high school, over 2,000 students. I was unique, and therefore nervous, paranoid, and uncomfortable. At first everyone had their own friends and the general public only casually knew me. That first year was pretty shaky. Then over the summer of 2000, I visited Israel as part of a team with my parents. A lot of weird spiritual mumbo jumbo was going on that made me very uncomfortable and the whole time I was anxious to get back. “Once I get back,” I thought, “…everything can be normal again.” My next year was even further removed from who I was, I was still very nervous about fitting in and often did things to get attention. I thought I was hardcore when really I was just a wiener. I fell away from God and did a few foolish rebellious things. My attitude soured, eventually after I realized how empty I was feeling I decided I’d try the good side of things again.